a newfound appreciation for the metro

Today, Tara and I went to U St. to meet Lauren for lunch since it's her first day of her new internship. I was already downtown so I met Tara at the Chinatown stop. While waiting on the platform for her, no less than a dozen beautiful men passed by me.

After enjoying some flirty eye contact (and a little extremely intense eye fucking) I got really angry. I just can't figure out why there are obviously many attractive men in this city, BUT NONE OF THEM GO TO AU.

Clearly I need to stop trying to find a man on this campus and instead start prowling the metro like a creep.

<3tracy

a grassroots victory!

Ryan Carter and I are celebrating the fact that we have not been arrested.

Not because we did anything particularly badass, like burn our draft cards or trespass onto School of Americas property. We might have been okay with risking arrest if we were true revolutionaries. But we just wanted to exercise our right to assemble in our nation's capital -- you know, the First Amendment and all that jazz? A pretty lame reason to get in trouble.

Because there were plans for a nationwide protest against the Defense of Marriage Act on January 10, Ryan and I assumed that we would be able to attend something in DC when we came back from winter break. But after checking Facebook (my source for ultimate truth about the world around me), we realized that there wasn't anything planned....so we decided to put something together ourselves. 

Unfortunately, we didn't take into account one important detail: it's January, and Barack Obama's impending inauguration threatens to be the biggest bash DC has ever seen. Apparently inauguration months are similar to times of war -- no one knows quite what to expect, all the important people are stressed out, and our basic rights are no longer guaranteed. For example, we found out that NO ONE is allowed to hold a demonstration on the mall. And when we submitted a permit to hold our protest in a different part of the city, we found out that NO ONE gets their paperwork approved when the National Park Service is busy fortifying the area for an attack. Or a parade. Or whatever.

But, bless our little activist hearts, that didn't stop us! We switched our venue from "protest" to "gathering" and kept advertising for the event. Until Ryan almost had a heart attack.

Ryan: Ohmigosh. FML. FML!!!

Tara: What does that mean?

Ryan: FUCK MY LIFE.

Tara: Why???

Ryan: What if all of the work that we've been doing pays off, our advertising is effective, and hundreds of people show up to this "gathering"?

Tara: That's a good thing.

Ryan: No, that's a PROTEST. That's a type of event we're NOT PERMITTED TO HOLD. That's something the Metropolitan Police will NOTICE. And then they'll ask who's in charge, and then they'll ARREST ME.

Tara: They will not.

Ryan: Yes they will, because my name is all over the permit. The permit that GOT REJECTED.

Tara: My name is on it too! I'm the one who submitted it.

Ryan: Then they'll arrest you too! WHY ARE WE DOING THIS???!?!? I CANNOT HAVE A RECORD.  

Tara: Calm down!

Ryan: I have to call my mentor and figure this out. FML.

After Ryan stopped having this meltdown, he had another one. And another. Finally, we pulled ourselves together and showed up to our non-protest (or "non-test," as Ryan lovingly referred to it) prepared to defend our cause to the MPDC. And no one came.

That's not entirely true. About ten dedicated people came. But there were none of the crowds that we anticipated, none of the 100 confirmed guests on Facebook (so much for ultimate truth), and certainly none of the scary police officers. We had a nice, calm gathering in a circle with no fear of imminent incarceration. We collected a couple of signatures for our petition despite the freezing rain. And then we called it quits due to a serious lack of umbrellas, sat around in Starbucks, and enjoyed the sweet taste of freedom.

Ryan: Well, maybe it would have been kind of cool if we had been arrested. Like, not really arrested. But scared of being arrested.

Tara: You were already scared of being arrested.

Ryan: But what if a police car had passed us and we imagined them looking at us and we thought they were pissed? We would have been so freaked out!

Tara: I think we were already freaking out a little.

Ryan: Yeah, but I kind of wanted it to be based in reality.

So no need to post our bail, friends -- we made it home safely after successfully organizing our first unauthorized protest. Which was really more like a handful of LGBT-friendly people hanging out on a Saturday afternoon. Which was much less epic that we imagined it in our freaked-out minds. 

Our mothers are so proud.

<3tara

oh, you must be white

Ryan: My grandma used to make us give her kisses with our noses.
Tracy: Oh, you mean Eskimo kisses?
Ryan: Yeah. And with your eyelashes...
Tracy: Butterfly kisses?
Ryan: Yeah. You must be white.
Tracy: What?
Ryan: Isn't that just a really white thing to do?

Yes, I am white. haha.
<3tracy

conversations that distracted me while I was minding my own business in Starbucks during AU's power outage

ambiguously Jewish-looking boy: I don't like talking to people about my family. They're like, totally weirded out when they find out my dad is a rabbi and my brother just became a Muslim. Talk about rebellion. 

girl sitting on top of her boyfriend: mmm, baby, I missed you sooooo muuuuuch! You know what one of the hardest things about being separated was?

boyfriend with double-pierced chin: What's that, babe?

girl sitting on top of her boyfriend: Whenever I used chapstick, I felt really...you know...sad.

boyfriend with double-pierced chin: Why did chapstick make you sad?

girl sitting on top of her boyfriend: Well, you know, I'm so used to using your chapstick. Or you using mine. Or at least offering you some of mine. But when you weren't there, I couldn't do that, and it was so HARD.

boyfriend with double-pierced chin: awwww, baby.

*They commence a very public make out session, and I get up and move so I don't throw up*

girl who was in one of my classes last semester but doesn't recognize me: Oh my god, this place is closing already? It's so late!!! I came here with my computer and my book, hoping to do a little typing and reading, but I didn't expect to be sitting here and talking about Jesus for so long! Wow!

other girl who was in a different one of my classes last semester and also doesn't recognize me: Yeah, I'm not ready for the night to be over yet. I just didn't have enough human interaction when I was in Minnesota, so it's all coming out now.

adorable Hispanic woman (in Spanish, so this is obviously the only conversation I was excited to overhear): There's no power at the university? How strange. You mean none of the buildings have electricity? When will it come back? These students should be enjoying their last week before classes start! I'm enjoying my last week before I have to go back and clean up after them, THAT'S for sure.

<3tara

thank you, toothpaste for dinner, for saying all the things i could never find the words for

Thoughts on frat brothers:

<3tracy

my mom still lives in the STONE AGE.

Maybe this is my Facebook addiction talking, but who still uses dial-up?!?

My mom's dinosaur of a PC hails from the early 90s and is so slow that I can pretty much take a shower, do laundry, clean the house, and cook dinner before my home page loads. Needless to say, it can't handle anything more than a feeble attempt to check my email (as long as I don't get too crazy and try to download any attachments, of course).

So I have been slowly wasting away, cut off from everything I care about -- like news feeds and blogs and tetris. But now that I'm finally back at my dad's house and enjoying wireless internet like a true member of the 21st century, I will share some belated festive photos.

The Culp-Ressler-Keim-Shenk family celebrates a new year! We're wearing crowns and disco balls because we figured that would be appropriate 2009 attire.

Also, my brothers really really love my MacBook.

an open letter

To who ever found our blog by Googling the phrase "freon sprayed in face from old fridge",

Though I know not of your identity, I feel we share a very special bond for it seems we are both murderers of fridges. It's possible that you were simply an innocent bystander in a brutal fridge murder but I prefer to think that I am not alone in my shame. I hope that your face has recovered, lest your frost-bitten nose raise suspicions. If my encounter with Tara's mystery Mennonite boy has taught me anything, it is this: when you meet your soul mate, say something. So although we are strangers, I feel compelled to tell you:

I love you.

Ever yours,

Tracy