he's trying to kill me with environmentalism.

Today my summer job ended and I moved back home to Lancaster. Today also happened to be the hottest, stickiest day of the entire summer -- the Department of Homeland Security put out some official heat warning, DC-area pools extended their hours, deodorants of every brand didn't stand up to the job. It felt like death outside. And after lugging every single one of my possessions out of my dorm room and into the humidity, I was practically melting to a puddle right on the corner of Mass Ave.

So I was really appreciative of the air conditioning during the car ride home, and I also spent some time daydreaming about the central air at my dad's house. Mmmmm central air, how I love you for keeping me puddle-free and happy!

But when I walked in the door, I FELT NO CENTRAL AIR CONDITIONING. "Oh yeah, it's still broken," my brother casually mentioned to me. "It hasn't been working forever. But you can open some windows and it's sort of okay."

After unpacking about 358 suitcases in my tiny, sweltering, un-air conditioned bedroom, I felt like a) I had never left DC and I must not be at home after all, b) I wanted to die, c) I should probably get rid of half of the things I own, and d) I would do absolutely anything for some beautiful amazing cold air.

Eventually, I resigned myself to my sweaty uncomfortable fate, sucked it up, and opened some windows like my brother suggested. And I asked my dad how long our air conditioning had been broken.

"Oh, it works fine," he answered cheerfully. "We just try not to use it."

No. No way. I almost would have laughed at him, except I wanted to cry on the inside. "But...wait a minute...Seth told me that...how did you not USE IT today?!?!??"

"It was easy! We just didn't turn it on!" he said, smiling at me like I was making a funny joke. Unfortunately for both of us, I start losing my sense of humor around 93 degrees.

whyyyy is my dad trying to kill me why why why why whyyyy

<3tara