EPIC FAIL

I don't know what it is but lately I have been failing miserably at life.

Tonight I broke the lid to my pot. But it's not like it fell and cracked into a few pieces. No, it SHATTERED and suddenly my floor was covered in teeny tiny very sharp shards of glass. Like we're talking thousands of shards. I spent the better part of an hour on my hands and knees with a roll of duct tape trying to get all the broken glass out of the carpet.

Last weekend I broke a light bulb. But not an ordinary lightbulb, no sir. A CFL. The difference? CFL's have MERCURY in them. So of course I have a MELTDOWN trying to figure out how I'm supposed to clean it up and whether or not I'm in compliance with EPAs hazardous waste disposal guidelines. I actually googled "signs of mercury poisoning" because I thought I was going to die. Thankfully I didn't, but I still had to clean up a million shards of glass and some scary powdery stuff.

Today I tried to go grocery shopping and I put in the wrong PIN for my debit card. On Monday I walked into Whole Foods and it was beautiful and sunny. Fifteen minutes later I walk out and find myself in a TORRENTIAL downpour. Did I mention I had 3 bags of groceries and no umbrella?

My sewing machine was delivered on Tuesday but when I went to get it they told me I had to have a package slip. I went to check my mail only to realize that instead of turning in my old mail key I accidentally turned in the key to my desk at work. Not only that, but they new key they gave me for my new room was THE WRONG KEY. So I go to the desk to get a new key OHJKWEDON'THAVEAKEYTOGIVEYOUCHECKBACKINAWEEK. So I borrow my roommate's key OHJKYOURMAILBOXISJAMMEDANDTHEKEYWON'TGOIN.

Oh and then there was the matter of getting promoted at work. Yeah, I know that sounds like a good thing, until you find out that I'm doing twice the work and not getting a pay raise. Oh and then I found out that my job is basically a dead end and they are going to kick me to the curb the DAY I graduate.

I can't sleep at night because my back hurts so badly from sitting at a desk in front of a computer for 40 hours a week. As a result, I oversleep and am late to work.

My cuckoo clock is broken. I lost a button on my jacket. I can't fit all my clothes into my drawers in my new room. Broke my new brown heels. I can't solve the USA Today crossword puzzle if my life depended on it (so embarassing).

I really really miss my suite. I'm becoming a recluse.

FUCK MY LIFE.

<3tracy