vows of everlasting love (or, how Steph and I pass notes when we're bored)

Stephanie, will you be my girlfriend? I promise to:

a) never talk about my feelings
b) never, ever spank you
c) be nice, normal, and not a creeper
d) make lots of sexytime

Please let me know. My heart is waiting for you.

Sincerely, Tara

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Tara, I accept! In return, I promise to:

a) never be shorter than you
b) go slow the first time
c) read Newsweek to you in bed
d) try really, really hard to have some feelings

I will love you forever.

Yours, Stephanie